Memphis in May BBQ Fest 2010 Recap

As I mentioned in my previous post, I went to Memphis for the annual BBQ festival last weekend. I LOVE BBQ!

I have been struggling with the the question of what I like more, BBQ Ribs or boiled crawfish?

Well, this past weekend it was BBQ. I rolled up to Memphis friday night and Kelley and I headed downtown to BBQ fest where we met up with Charlisa (charlie and lisa) and Chris and Diana(who don't have a cool name yet, but i'm working on it.) For those of you who Have never been, BBQ fest is huge. Several hundred teams from across the nation converge on Memphis for the BBQ world championships. They compete in several different categories such as ribs, pork shoulder, and whole hog. I happen to be a rib man myself, but etheir nough about me. One of the guys that Kelley works with is on one of the afore mentioned BBQ teams(i don't remember the name of the team) so we had access to their tent, some cold beers (bottled water for me)and some most delicious BBQ sandwiches, Beans and Potato salad.

We hung around there for a while, then the 6-pack(I just made up that name, Genius) Head up the hill to world famous Beale St. which to me is like a PG version of Bourbon St. in New Orleans. We made our way to one of Memphis' fine establishments for the procurement of smoked meats called "The Pig". Normally I don't like to eat at places in the touristy parts of town but I gotta hand it to "The Pig" that's some mighty fine fixins boys! I was a little concerned from a foodie perspective because we got there late, 11:15-11:30ish, which scared me because I have been to many a bbq joint late and that's when they dish out the subpar or "this is all we have left" ribs. Not the pig, Our ribs were moist and meaty, plain old delicious. The cheese and sausage plate was good too.

As if that wasn't enough, we made a new friend. We call him "The King", his momma called him Elvis. As it turns out he is alive and well and plays at the pig on friday and saturday nights. He is also available for private parties.

After dinner with Mr."The King" we stepped out on to Beale St. and did what everyone on Beale St. does, played the claw machine. Now, I'm not one to brag(seriously, I'm not) but if there is something winable in a claw machine, I will win it. I put in my dollar, scanned the machine from several angles and released my claw on an unsuspecting penguin looking thing. The claw swooped down from above and wrapped it's tines around the plush morsel, then began to ascend and carry the novelty bird to me. BUT, the penguin slipped out of the clutches of the claw to rejoin its friends below. Panic insued in the machine as the stuffed comrades clung to each other for safety, but the daring young penguin-thingy was no match for me and my calculating claw. I reassessed the location of the penguin, set my aim and again launced a daring attack from above. The talons swooped down and encased the helpless penguin-like-thing in a firm embrace, plucking him from the huddled masses cowering in fear. The Claw carried him to the drop point and released him to me. But the cunning young Penguinish thing had one more trick up his flamable little sleeve. As he was falling in to my possession he mangaed to wedge his tag in between the glass and metal rail that held the glass in place. There he was, dangling, holding on for dear life, making a last ditch effort to cling to the only home he has ever known and the friends who fought with him so valiantly. It seemed he would be victorious as he was now out of the range of the claw. But, dear friends, I was fighting for more than just a toy. I was fighting for the glory of all those who have fallen victim to the claw machine, I was fighting for all those who have spent hours and 5 or 10 bucks trying to win a 30 cent toy for their sweetheart or dear child. I knew I had been called to this machine and it was my duty to prevail. I would not be denied. Reaching into the shallow depths of my wallet i found the only tool available, and the only tool I would need. A single one dollar bill. I looked at the bill and General Washington looked at me. I read the inscription,"In God We Trust"and knew that I was fighting on the side of good and the victory would be my blessing. I felt the words E PLURIBUS UNUM (out of many, One) become not just a motto, but a battle cry. Out of many stuffed novelties, this ONE penguin was my destiny. Did General Washington Surrender to the British, Hells No! Did he give up that hard winter at Valley forge? No Sir. Did he have trouble eating BBQ with wooden teeth? Hells yeah! And still he smoked the swine and patook of its deliciosity. And I knew that this day I would prevail.

I slid the dollar bill through a small slit where the machine is opened to refill its bounty. It was no easy task as there was several L's that the bill had to manuver anround before entering the inner sanctum of the machine. The crowd of on lookers gasped in awe as the dollar penetrated the inner chamber. The bill wiggled and wryed its way into the inner chamber until about 1/3 of the bill was in. Then the bill worked its way from side to side pusing the little tag that the penguin clung to. first to the right, the crowd was hushed, the anticipation soared, why words fail to do it justice. Then the bill pushed the tag to the left. The puny penguiny-thing shook in fear and then the life line was severed as the bill dislodged the tag from the window. The stuffed warrior fell into the abyss and into my possession. The whole of Beale St, No, The Whole of Memphis, erupted into jubilant celebration. Free rounds were given, the strippers charged half price, and the homeless found a warm pace of comfort for the night.

Victory was mine. I held the little hero high into the night, the smell of smoked meat drifted through the neon-filled street. I saw unity in the streets as we all saw, if just for a moment, what is right about the world, Gangstas and Rednecks rejoiced together, the Memphis police actually protected and served, and a child shed a single tear that was wiped away by the bbq stained handkerchief of her aged and wise grandfather.

I turned to Kelley, tears in her eyes, and said to her, "Tonight, here on this street, All is right with the world, and as long as this token, this spoil of victory resides in your hands, our unity will be blessed and prosperous, for this is the day that I have conquered the evil of the claw machine not just for personal benefit, but to destroy tyrrany and restore liberty to all the land"(some liberites may have been taken with what I actually said, but this is pretty close, i think).

The penguin remains in safe hands today, siitning on a candle on Kelleys desk. I have returned to Baton Rouge, But I have heard rumors that crime in memphis is down 0.0001% since that night. A testament to out victory and remnant of the night when, if just for a moment, all was right with the world.

And that is the story of Memphis in may BBQ Fest 2010

Once again, as I wrote this post while my class was takng a final and the bell is about to ring, I don't have time to go back and fix the grammar or spelling, Then again, it's my blog and i don't have to if i don't want to, MWAHAHAHA!