Running in Cirlces

You're running and you're running and you're running away, but you can't run away from yourself"- Bob Marley

Flag of Sicily

I think on my sicilian origins from time to time and consider the trials and tribulations my people have faced, fought and conquered for centuries. The many invasions and defeat we have suffered, the rulers we were forced to live under, the rebelions we have ignited, and the freedom we have earned.

Then i think of my own life and the obstacles I have been faced with and overcome. But, it seems that I often find myself fighting the same battles over and over again. I know how to win the battle, so it would seem a simple thing to do. But, each time the battles seem to get harder to fight. When I ran the marathon a couple years ago the training was tough, but I managed to get myself up and out the door just about every day. I missed a few workouts due to illness and personal issues, but i would say I did 90% or more of the scheduled workouts. And because of this, I completed the race never doubting that I would finish.

Then i turned to triathlons. And I was faithful in my training. Though that 1st swim in rough water completely kicked my butt, I never doubted that i would finish.

And from there I have been fighting an uphill battle. my training has become much less consistent, and my eating habits of become less nutrtious. I have had days and weeks of doing well, but they have been followed by days and weeks of slacking. And I haven't been able to break out of this series of highs and lows.

Then I paused for a moment, as I learned from Ferris Beuler, and I thought about the situation that was before me. And it seemed so clear. 

SCOTT, YOU HAVE TO BREAK THE CYCLE!!!!(that's me yelling in my own head) 

Actually, that thought occured to me while talking to a friend of mine about somethings going on in his life, and he realized that he was putting himself into the same bad situation over and over again. Then he said that he did something to break that cycle.

"And it stoned me, to my soul" -Van Morrison

When he spoke of breaking that cycle, i was proud of him. and later, I thought about what he said and realized that I was guilty of the same and that I too needed to break a cycle.

For me it comes down to discipline. If you want to be something, you can. If you want to do something, you can. It's up to you to do it. No one will do it for you. Don't feel sorry for your self. Don't say you have to get a few other things in order first. Just get out or get up and start doing it.

An Example:

One thing I have heard from people many times is that they will start working out once they have lost a few pounds. This logic is plain old retarded, yes, i said retarded. It's the exercise that will cause you to lose the weight.

So back to me. The past week, I did almost all of the workouts I intended to do. This week i hope to do them all. There are already obstacles in my way, and I will have to work around those things. But i WILL work around those things.

You see, there is a person I want to be, in fact I am already that person. You too are already that person you want to be. You just have to let that person out, don't hide him away. Let him live the life. live your life the way you want to. No one is stopping ypou but yourself. There is no one to blame but yourself, the only excuse is that YOU have not done what YOU need to do.

So Do It!

I do stop from time to time to reflect on how my life is going, and from time to time I see a me I don't want to be. But I don't let it keep me down. I think of who i am and where I came from. I think of my family and how far my family has come through generations. I look back to the places that we migrated from and what we ovecame in those far away lands. And this time, I thought back to the Red Hill, and then to Sicily, and rememberdthat I am from a people who don't give up, who don't back down, who claim what is ours, and live life our way.

"For what is a man, what has he got?

if not himself, then he has naught

to say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels

the record show, I took the blows, and did it my way"

                         -Sinatra

You will take some blows, but you will rise. Do it your way.