As most of you know, I like to think of myself as an athlete(of sorts) and I am very proud of the athletic achievments I have accomplished in the last few years.
Now, I could go on and tell you about the things I have done and how great it was to cross the finish line or how happy I was to wear the medal, etc......
But that's not whats on my mind. The last few weeks I have been thinking alot about my future goals; doing another marathon, my 1st half IronMan, 100 mile bike ride. To achieve these things it's gonna take a lot of work, dedication, and sweat. And this is where my thoughts take a turn from the positive ones that i usually write about to the events of a regular, ordinary, ho-hum 3 mile run.
A few months back I started training for an Olympic distance triathlon (1 mile swim, 25 mile bike, 6 mile run) and the training was going well until one ordinary day when I was supposed to run an "easy" 3 mile run (easy because my longer runs were 10-12 miles at the time). About a mile and a half into the run I just stopped running and started to walk. I told my self that I would just walk to the end of that block. Well, I walked the 1.5 back to the house.
Never before had that ever happened to me. I had been running for a good 5 or so years and never had that happen. 2 days later, it happened again. I cut the workout short for no reason. Was it self doubt? Was it burnout? I don't know. What i do know is that it has been hard to shake, hard to overcome. It has even gotten to the point where I fear training for anything because I am afraid it will happen again.
Ok, hold that thought.
I see a similar thing going on with the kids at school. It seems that these kids, and here I am referencing all 4 schools I have taught at, are used to giving up. It seems to have been instilled in many of them, through lack of consequence perhaps, that giving up is a viable option, that hard work is for suckers, that success should be given rather than earned. It disturbs me that I can make that last comment with such confidence in its accuracy.
I don't pretend to be Mr. Hardwork, if there is an easier way i am likely to take it. Who wouldn't? But many of these students are giving up before they begin because they don't think they will be successful anyway, and they don't want to waste their time trying if they are just gonna fail.
End critcism of the students. We will ride that horse some other time.
But there is an easy parrallel to be drawn between my issue and that which I see in the classroom. No one wants to fail, and no wants to waste their time if it's gonna result in failure anyway.
This is where the story turns.
In the Olympic distance triathlon that I was training for I had the best open-water swim I ever had, I also had the best bike ride I ever had in a triathlon and both of these distances were longer than any race I had done before. Even though i caught a cramp in my back coming out of the swim, I still put in my best bike ride. But, Shortly into the run, I walked. I tried to convince myself it would just be for a minute. Well that minute turned into walking about 4 of the 6 miles. The ability to quit was already in me, and it showed itself. When I finally crossed the line my family was there and seemed really proud of me. But i was silently hurting inside and felt that I let them down, and worse, I betrayed myself.
That makes it hard to get started again. At that point it would be easy to have stayed down on the mat, but you know I can't do that. You have read enough of my posts to know how much I love a redemption story, how much I love the story of the guy who finished last, but overcame great adversity to finish at all.
Hopefully, that will be my story. I never claimed to be a great athlete, I never claimed that I could win any race, but I have overcome adversity before, and i will overcome adversity again. I will run today. The thought of quitting will surely cross my mind. I will have to make a decison: run? or walk?
I have failed at many things, many times, but I have picked myself up and dusted my self off just as many times. All I can do, all any of us can do, is face the challenges before us on step at a time, one day at a time. I can't predict success in accomplishing all my goals, and the students can't predict success on every assignment. But we can decide while on the run to day if we will run or walk. And though i cannot tell you what decision i will make tomorrow, today I will choose to run.
Now, I could go on and tell you about the things I have done and how great it was to cross the finish line or how happy I was to wear the medal, etc......
But that's not whats on my mind. The last few weeks I have been thinking alot about my future goals; doing another marathon, my 1st half IronMan, 100 mile bike ride. To achieve these things it's gonna take a lot of work, dedication, and sweat. And this is where my thoughts take a turn from the positive ones that i usually write about to the events of a regular, ordinary, ho-hum 3 mile run.
A few months back I started training for an Olympic distance triathlon (1 mile swim, 25 mile bike, 6 mile run) and the training was going well until one ordinary day when I was supposed to run an "easy" 3 mile run (easy because my longer runs were 10-12 miles at the time). About a mile and a half into the run I just stopped running and started to walk. I told my self that I would just walk to the end of that block. Well, I walked the 1.5 back to the house.
Never before had that ever happened to me. I had been running for a good 5 or so years and never had that happen. 2 days later, it happened again. I cut the workout short for no reason. Was it self doubt? Was it burnout? I don't know. What i do know is that it has been hard to shake, hard to overcome. It has even gotten to the point where I fear training for anything because I am afraid it will happen again.
Ok, hold that thought.
I see a similar thing going on with the kids at school. It seems that these kids, and here I am referencing all 4 schools I have taught at, are used to giving up. It seems to have been instilled in many of them, through lack of consequence perhaps, that giving up is a viable option, that hard work is for suckers, that success should be given rather than earned. It disturbs me that I can make that last comment with such confidence in its accuracy.
I don't pretend to be Mr. Hardwork, if there is an easier way i am likely to take it. Who wouldn't? But many of these students are giving up before they begin because they don't think they will be successful anyway, and they don't want to waste their time trying if they are just gonna fail.
End critcism of the students. We will ride that horse some other time.
But there is an easy parrallel to be drawn between my issue and that which I see in the classroom. No one wants to fail, and no wants to waste their time if it's gonna result in failure anyway.
This is where the story turns.
In the Olympic distance triathlon that I was training for I had the best open-water swim I ever had, I also had the best bike ride I ever had in a triathlon and both of these distances were longer than any race I had done before. Even though i caught a cramp in my back coming out of the swim, I still put in my best bike ride. But, Shortly into the run, I walked. I tried to convince myself it would just be for a minute. Well that minute turned into walking about 4 of the 6 miles. The ability to quit was already in me, and it showed itself. When I finally crossed the line my family was there and seemed really proud of me. But i was silently hurting inside and felt that I let them down, and worse, I betrayed myself.
That makes it hard to get started again. At that point it would be easy to have stayed down on the mat, but you know I can't do that. You have read enough of my posts to know how much I love a redemption story, how much I love the story of the guy who finished last, but overcame great adversity to finish at all.
Hopefully, that will be my story. I never claimed to be a great athlete, I never claimed that I could win any race, but I have overcome adversity before, and i will overcome adversity again. I will run today. The thought of quitting will surely cross my mind. I will have to make a decison: run? or walk?
I have failed at many things, many times, but I have picked myself up and dusted my self off just as many times. All I can do, all any of us can do, is face the challenges before us on step at a time, one day at a time. I can't predict success in accomplishing all my goals, and the students can't predict success on every assignment. But we can decide while on the run to day if we will run or walk. And though i cannot tell you what decision i will make tomorrow, today I will choose to run.
i wondered why you didn't have much to say about that tri. now I know...
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